I still exist…

I just wanted to let anyone who actually reads this blog that I still exist. Real life just has me by the… well if I was a guy… by the you know whats. Someday it’ll let me go, and I’ll get back to writing. Eh… a girl can dream can’t she.

Toodle pip.

The best laid plans of mice and men and…

Writers with a deadline. No NaNo for me this year. Again. I’d like to say I put forth a valiant effort, but truth be told, I didn’t. I got involved in something else, and just never got into the swing of things. And the swing is really where it’s at. I liked my original story idea. I still like it now, but I just couldn’t find a way to start it. I don’t think I am quite ready to write it just yet.

So, I started another story tonight. I know how this one should start. I know how it should end. All I need to do is write the middle. Not too much pressure, neh. Of course, I have no idea what to call it. Perhaps that will come to me later. Yes, later. I plan to continue writing this story even after tonight. I think I need to tell it. At least I hope I do.

Wish me luck.

At the drop of a hat…

So… I think my attitude has changed about writing these past few months. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have drafts of posts I have not published that reflected my utter dejection about my lack of writing. Frankly, I’ve missed it. I’ve missed the creating of characters. I’ve missed the fleshing out of a plot… of trying to find the voice in a story. I’ve missed the struggle of getting the ideas to come together.

It is a strange feeling to have those problems once again. It really has been a long time. I don’t even think I know anyone who would remember that once upon a time I called myself a writer. That I dreamed of getting published. When I was young, I was the type of person who sent in stories to contests like Writers of the Future. I even believed that one day I could win. Yes, I know I am far from being close to that caliber of writing and maybe I never will be. But perhaps, perhaps I can get there if I keep this up.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to get my Flash Fiction Friday #6 together. I have to write fanfiction. Can you believe that! I’ve never written fanfiction in my life. It’s gonna be bad people. Just plain stinky. Should be fun.

It’s all in the journey…

So, I am starting at the beginning… again. I’ve been participating in Flash Fiction Friday for the past two weeks now. And, I’ve been having a lot of fun. This week’s prompt is slightly more difficult, for me at least. It involves writing badly. Okay so it’s not THAT difficult, but still to write badly on purpose. You could almost trip yourself up and write a good story. Plus we must use a certain amount of words from a word list given by our Mistress of Flash, Laurie from Peregrinas. Oh, and our word limit for this week’s challenge involves a minimum and maximum word limit.

I don’t know what these challenges will lead to. Perhaps I’ll decide to look over at my story list and pick one and just write the sh!% out of it. I don’t know. I’m afraid to even look past this week’s challenge. However, I have triumphed over one of my bad habits. In the past, everytime I’ve started a story, I would just stop and let it rot. I can’t tell you how many story fragments I have on my computers. They could all be compiled to make a book or at least a small novella. Well, I started last week’s challenge pretty early and then left it alone. Suddenly, it was Thursday. However, I didn’t panic. I simply clicked on the story tab, did a quick review, and began writing again until I finished it. I did have to do some editing, but it was done. It felt kind of historic and a bit empowering. Needless to say, I felt good.

So, let’s knock on some wooden pencils and hope that this continues.

Cussing is a birthright…

Wow… aren’t I a melancholy piece of shit. Apparently, I like to wallow in self-pity. Dirty bugger state of being that it is. If I were someone else, I’d slap me in the face, but alas, I am me, and I hate to inflict undue pain on myself. Oh well, back to the drawing board that is my silly attempts at writing. One of these days those jump starts are gonna fracking work, I tell you. Just you fracking wait.

Are dreams meant to fade…

Are dreams meant to fade away? Or are they meant to settle in the back of the mind and wait for the right moment to spring forth fully realized like Athena from Zeus’s head? I used to have this dream about winning the Philip K. Dick Award for distinguished science fiction books published for the first time in the United States as a paperback original. I know, a strange dream. I am not even sure how I learned about it the first time. I don’t remember when I first noticed it or what book I was reading. All I remember thinking was that someday I was going to win it for something I wrote. I mean I just knew it.

Now, I don’t know anymore. I wish I could get back that certainty of youth. I wish I could get back all the confidence I had when I wrote that first magic sentence. It just seems so pointless when everything I start writing pales in comparison to the story I have in my head. I wish I could find my way back to that time, but like Hansel and Gretal, the birds have eaten my breadcrumbs. The really sad thing is is that the stories I have in my head now are much more interesting than the ones I had when I was younger.

As for that on-line writing class I was taking, I didn’t keep up with writing assignments the way I would have liked, but I plan on retaking it when it comes around again.

Building character(s)…

I’ve never had much of a problem coming up with story ideas. To be honest, I dream about them. (Although, it is still one of my greatest fears that one day the story ideas will dry up like the speculated river beds on Mars.) So why is it so hard for me to build credible characters? Ones that I could believe are real enough to be interesting? Why does the idea of creating a new life, albeit a fictional one, scare me to the point of apathy. (A lot of my feeling of apathy (oxymoronish, I know) towards writing, comes from my inability to create characters I would care about much less an outside audience.) It is something I need to work on.

So, what other elements are important in creating believable characters that a reader can care about. Their past is obvious. What they do for a job is another. What they do for fun. How they treat others. How they treat themselves. What else?

Perhaps, I need to do an exercise in character development. (Take-home work from me coming soon.)

Sex is essential… Part 2

After thinking about this topic for a day, I realized that I didn’t discuss something, which is probably the most important aspect of sex and sexuality in a character’s creation and development, that is gender.

How could I forget one of the major choices in a writer’s process; deciding which gender your character will assume. What other decision can affect how your character develops besides whether they are male or female? Heck, maybe there is no gender or more than two in the species your character is a part of. Who’s to say we aren’t even talking about the human species with that scenerio. Maybe in the future, technology or evolution has broadened the human condition.

See what I am saying. The use of sex and sexuality as part of character development can carry at least a subplot of a good story. So why is it so hard for me to build credible characters that could conceivably write the story for me. Something to think about in the next post.