Time and the Space in my head…

Well, here I am again. I know I haven’t written in this journal for a long time, and I apologize to anyone who actually comes here to read my posts, but life has a way of keeping you pretty busy, even when you don’t want to be. I’ve actually logged in several times with the intention of writing something… anything, but I usually just ended up rereading my old posts and wondering what the hell I was thinking. I mean I could just blame them on a lack of sleep, but I have lived so long “in the night” that my thinking process should not be warped from lack of sleep. No, this crazy is all natural with no fillers or preservatives. The plain fact is I am just weird.

So, after looking back through the gazillion (okay 12 or so) posts I’ve written, I’ve realized something. I’ve never actually explained the name of this site – Echoes in the Mind – in any one of my posts. Well, despite what many people might think, I didn’t name this site because my mind is hollow and makes a great “hoo-ing” sound anytime someone screams in my ear. Actually, it is paraphrased from the first line of a poem I wrote a while back called “Bittersweet”. It is in fact my favorite poem. Even after all these years, it still speaks to me in ways that still hold true to my heart and soul as a writer and a person. (Corny, I know.)

The word bittersweet has so much meaning. It can either represent something so painful it makes you laugh or something so beautiful it makes you cry. It is like eating one of those sour candies that make your mouth pucker up and your eyes water yet you keep on sucking on it because it makes your tongue feel alive. It’s those feelings which keep me alive and keeps me writing (or trying) despite how painful it can be sometimes. Yes, there are times I wish the words would just pour out from my mind onto the paper or onto the computer screen, but it is usually never that easy. Although, I have experienced that easiness. Those moments in writing are both glorious and draining – a bit like having sex or attaining a “runner’s high”, but who can ever sustain such things for long periods of time (without some added help that is ;)). Good writing, which is what I would like to produce and the goal for keeping this journal going, takes time and effort. Too bad I’ve never been clear on the concept of time.